The kerfuffle over Slumdog Millionaire

Slumdog Millionaire !
It all started with this news article -

They've started calling Indians 'slumdogs': Composer Aadesh Srivastava

http://www.musicindiaonline.com/n/i/top_stories/2867/

Mumbai, Feb 20 (IANS) Bollywood composer Aadesh Srivastava says he is embarrassed to walk on the streets of the US after Oscar-nominated "Slumdog Millionaire" because "they have started calling Indians slumdogs".

"I'm so upset. They've started calling Indians 'slumdogs', just like 'coolie' was a 'slang' in Britain. Now in the US I feel slumdog is a 'gaali' (slang) for Indians. Mumbai has given me everything," Srivastava told IANS.

"To see the city being shown as a place of dirt, filth and crime only is very humiliating. Even I can make a film on child prostitution and paedophilia. But it won't get Oscars because I am not a 'gora' (white)," added the composer.

Based on Indian diplomat Vikas Swarup's novel "Q & A", "Slumdog Millionaire" is about an impoverished teaboy who wins a quiz show. Directed by British director Danny Boyle, the story is set in the slums of Mumbai. While Anil Kapoor, Freida Pinto and NRI Dev Patel played main leads, A.R. Rahman composed the music for the movie. It has got 10 Oscar nominations, out of which three are for Rahman.

The film was lauded in the West, but it has been criticised by some in India for showing its ugly side by concentrating on grinding poverty.

"What right does the director have to show Mumbai as a slum? Now we are considered a slum city in all parts of the world. Humlog kahin mooh dikhane laayak nahin rahe (we're unable to show our face anywhere)," said Srivastava, who watched the movie in Los Angeles this week.

Srivastava applauds fellow composer Rahman's music in the movie, but says he'd never be part of a film that makes India look like a slum.

"I'm so upset. It's a disgusting movie. Being an Indian it was doubly humiliating to be watching the film with Americans. Even if Steven Spielberg asked me to compose music for a film that makes fun of India, I won't do it," he said.

Being a diehard Amitabh Bachchan fan, Srivastava is appalled by the way the Big B is shown in the film.

"I puked when I saw that kid smeared in shit asking for Bachchan saab's autograph. What the f...k was that? Does Danny Boyle know what Bachchan saab means to us Indians? Who would dare approach him like that?

"We applaud people who come to our city and spit in our faces!" he said.

~~~o~~~

Which evoked the following response from an easily intimidated techie (perhaps) who mass mailed all his friends on a Google group

Dear Friends,
Before u read on the mail given below, Just close your eyes and see whether the following is possible ...

Future Movie Names

1. City Pussy Millionaire (story abt a american in a city in California (for example))
2. City Pussy Beggar (story abt a american in a city in California (for example))
.
.
.

to be directed by an indian director, acted by americans and music by a famous american composer and getting a National award in India....

how the hell somebody keep such a title "slumdog". are we dogs and why we should be so happy if that movie gets oscar....think abt it...

Best Regards
A mass mailer

~~~o~~~

Yes, this childish email would have been lost in oblivion, but one responsible citizen sought to set things straight and here's his/her response:

My Dear mass mailing friend,

I must apologize to you for what I am about to write. I am sorry. It's not intentional and definitely not personal. In fact I wouldn't have even bothered to reply back to your email because it reeks of someone with ADD ( yes, I mean attention deficit disorder) But then, for the common good of this society, and the few sane people who live in it, I am choosing to be the bad guy here. Sorry again.

Now, coming to your email which was motivated by Aadesh who ?? Okay I'll come back to that jackass later. First, I need to set the record straight for you. Quoting you --

"Before u read on the mail given below, Just close your eyes and see whether the following is possible ...

Future Movie Names

1. City Pussy Millionaire (story abt a american in a city in California (for example))

2. City Pussy Beggar (story abt a american in a city in California (for example)).

to be directed by an indian director, acted by americans and music by a famous american composer and getting a National award in India....

how the hell somebody keep such a title "slumdog". are we dogs and why we should be so happy if that movie gets oscar....think abt it...”

What the *bleep* were you thinking buddy ? Do you think those names are funny ? Do you think they even make sense ? Heck ! Even a class 3 student would suggest better movie names given a chance. It seems a night of drunken foolery caused you to come up with those suggestions. City Pussy Millionaire ? Don't you even read your stuff once before sending out !? Gmail has a feature to prevent drunk people from emailing. USE IT ! You need it !

You have a problem with the title of the movie ? Slumdog millionaire ! Please tell me how many times have you abused one of the 'slum' dwellers back home in India as 'galli ka kutta' and 'gandi naali ka keeda'. How many times have you made fun of the beggar on the streets? What about a handicapped person? How many times have you abused the lowly laborer because he could not complete that task you assigned him? If our Mr. Bacchan was to say such a dialogue in a movie, I am sure you'd be the first one to actually whistle and celebrate his amazing delivery. In a country where cricket is religion, we have a National team player saying 'teri maa ki' or 'monkey' to someone else on NATIONAL TELEVISION. And you have the cheek to come back and tell me that you have a problem with the word Slumdog in the title of a movie ?

Who is this guy 'Aadesh' anyway ? Let's see ... is he the same nincompoop who acts as if he knows the length and breadth of music and tune on the reality shows that he's a judge on ? Let me tell you my friend, if Steven Spielberg even gives a little hint that he *needs* a composer of Indian origin, then your Mr. Aadesh will be among the first ones to go and kiss .. no actually .. lick his ass. He will do it whether the film is derogatory or not is a different matter. Why doesn’t he voice his opinions on issues that actually matter ? Ask him to give his opinion on Raj Thakkar and MNS atrocities in Mumbai and what he plans to do to curtail that. Ask him to talk about the underworld nexus with Bollywood. His answer will be a straight faced no comments. And you know why? I tell you why .. He’s a wuss. A grade ‘A’ wuss. Perfect example of a joker. An idiot. A loser.

Coming to the story of the movie ? You have a problem that the film shows India's slums ? Is it not a fact ?? Do we not have slums like Dharavi here in India ? So stop living in your dreamworld sweetheart. Pop the bubble and come back to planet earth. We are Indians. We may be poor. We may live in the slums. But we are willing to work and make a difference, so that our children may enjoy a better future.

You and I can go watch Sunny Deol beating up 50 Pakistani nationals and clap with bravado for those scenes. We go and watch a serial rapist kill and molest young girls and call that entertainment. We watch movies that showcase atrocities against our women. We see movies in which kids throw out their parents and fight with their own brothers for money. Every single such movie has made millions at the box office because of us. And you are talking about slums showing India in derogatory light ! Sheeesh. My good man, the fact that we've had the Nithari killings, regional violence outbreaks and corrupt officials who ask for bribes openly are far more derogatory than what that movie has shown ! They are downright shameful. The everyday atrocities that we read about in the papers are the real deal. This is what is happening in India right now. Yesterday and today ! And what are we doing ? We are sitting and talking about some movie that made a lot of money cuz it was based on the Indian slums ! Hats off to you my boy. Hats off !

Aadesh is trying to generalize a line and make it applicable to all Indians. I don't think it’s true. But even if it were true, what a few people think and say does not make us Slumdogs !! For God's sake, If I had the power to call you a jackass and if you actually became one, well then I’d be God !! Instead, if he had the minutest amount of common sense, he should have chosen to ignore the remarks and gotten on with his life. But no, he wants to sensationalize it to evoke reactions from junta like you. Had he risen above the petty issue, there would have been a marked difference in everyone’s quality of life. Ask Robin Sharma ! It is a proven technique.

The Movie is based on a novel written by an Indian in 3 months time ! Danny Boyle found it interesting enough to portray it on the big screen. Go read the book first and then come and abuse this 'gora' for showing India in bad light. Hello ? It’s a fact that the slum dwellers do face such horrifying living conditions. They get kidnapped. Forced into begging. Hello !!! Instead of concentrating on eradicating these issues, people chose to malign the director and his work of art ! Wake up India. Watch the jaago re campaign be Tata tea and do something !

Let me tell you son, movies are works of fiction. The director enjoys a creative license to call a movie ANYTHING and get away with it. Period. This is not kindergarten anymore that you can say just about anything and hope to get away with it. We are a responsible nation and the future leaders. How can you expect all of us to prosper and be respected in the Global context if we point fingers like this? The statements made by these ‘weeds’ are absolutely pathetic and should not have gathered any attention. Not in the media. Not in an email. This is absolutely ridiculous.

The movie showed Mr. Bacchan in bad light ! That's the craziest statement ever. It showed that he is a good man who does not discriminate against his fans. He does not see the exterior qualities of look, smell touch etc. He saw the passion in the little kid's mind that even though he was covered in 'shit' he chose to get the autograph of his idol first. That is the passion which eventually lets him win the million dollars and was integral to the script. Heck, to me - that scene shows Bacchan as a demi God and frankly I have more respect for him after watching the movie !!

To each his own you say ? Yes. I agree. This is my point of view. Yours might be different. But notice how I am refraining from imposing my POV on you ? And that is what a movie is meant to be. Everyone has their own interpretation. Danny Boyle is simply showing what he thought of the story and from the research that he did in the slums of Mumbai. That is how the world's largest democracy should be. So stop spreading feelings of hatred. It is absolutely uncalled for. You are going to live only for 80 years or even less. Why waste this short span delving into hatred and petty fights. Why can't we see beyond all these differences ?

A lot of Mr. Aadesh's have cropped up because of Slumdog's popularity and the resulting Oscars. And you know the reason -- deep down they are all JEALOUS. Jealous of the fact that they did not get a chance to be a part of such a historic movie. Jealous that a foreigner actually read a book by an Indian author and made a winning movie out of it while they were busy sitting on their ass doing nothing. Jealous that they did not make a dime out of the whole hoopla on slumdog milionaire. Do you not see this ? It is staring right in your face and you chose to read comments made by some music director whose contributions to the Indian cinema even we refuse to acknowledge ? What is he trying to prove here ? Is he a better music director than Rahman ? What the heck !

I am telling you that even an Oscar winning script made into a movie in India will not match up to the technical standards of American/British film industry. We are not that good yet. What is the shame in admitting to that ? Once you admit this, it shows that we are prepared to accept the reality and want to improve ourselves. Come on ! Can't we do this much ! They had a head start because of their advanced technology. Let's try and catch up before making statements like we're gonna make a national award winning movie here based on the pedophilia and prostitution issues in the US. Get over it !!! We can't make what Spielberg made 20 years ago. We just can't. And the sooner you believe it, the better it will be for you, for me, and for all those jackass directors who don't know jackshit.

Honestly, I am frustrated. Not at you. Not at Aadesh who appended an extra 'A' to his name for good fortune ! I am frustrated because we are a rising economy. A power to be reckoned with in the near future. And we are so full of shit. Such amateurish reactions just go on to prove that we are not yet ready to grasp our full power. To win hearts the world over. No sireee. We are stupid people who live with the crab mentality. Since we can't rise up, we're gonna try and ensure that others do not rise either.

I feel ashamed of calling you a fellow Indian. Because we Indians are not like that. We appreciate a good movie when we see one. We appreciate good food when we eat it. And we are grateful to god for giving us our daily bread. We are not sent into this planet to make money, kill or plunder. We are here to touch lives. To help those unfortunate souls because we have the good fortune and resources to do so. We like to perform random acts of kindness. We pay our taxes clearly knowing that even though most of it goes to the corrupt bureaucracy, at least a small part is used to build infrastructure to deliver electricity and water to our villages. The very villages whose inhabitants toil hard every day to ensure that you and I can eat chappati and some rice. They pay for our army that works through cold sleepless nights so that we can sleep comfortably in our homes.

Please take a vow today that you will not perpetrate these types of emails and advocate hate. Let us join hands and usher in a new country. A country where knowledge and peace reign. Thank you for your patience. And again, I am very sorry if I have hurt your feelings. I would like to end with a poem penned by a famous Indian -

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;

Where knowledge is free;

Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;

Where the words come out from the depth of truth;

Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;

Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action -

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Jai Hind and Jai Ho !

Best regards,
A proud Indian

Names and Identities have been changed / removed to protect the individuals.

Hiatus !

After a 2 year self imposed hiatus, I've decided to rejoin the world of bloggers !

Thanks to Nimit for the inspiration :)

Minimal Clouds - Part I

The sky was filled with bare minimum clouds. A minute streak of white, much like a streak of paint accidentally spurted on a canvas, adorned the sky. But one could not miss the skillful hand of nature. It was a streak of revered order. It was as if the streak was meticulously draw by Picasso himself. But not everyone had either the time or the knack to notice these subtleties.
It was on this day that the fateful handglider was spotted. It moved gracefully over the heads of many reminding some the very smoothness with which a sharp scissors takes on new silk. It's speed was tough to gauge with not many clouds in the sky. But one could see that the glider was headed East, for it pursued with great interest the "Sun". While a nature photographer cursed it's appearence which led to a unfortunate sudden flight of what he affectionately referred to as his work of life, the villagers flocked and marvelled at the blot of red that supplemented the infinite blue.
Rising far above the ground, from an eagle's eye view; pun unintended, few birds bothered about the huge contraption that flew beside them. For the flock, it was just another big bird that seemed harmless. They soared, migrating gradually, like scale changes in an elaborate musical piece. The glider soared with its purpose unknown to everyone except the one man inside it.
What ill fate befell the man no one knows for the purpose he knew remained unhelpful to everyone including himself, for he was nothing more than a lifeless mass ironically having a flight of his life.

It all begins with the first phone call

The Scene:

The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker working in London. The Boy is doing his residency in Manchester and was given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Leicester. Parenthesis are unspoken thoughts.

Monday night, 10 pm

Girl: Hello?
Boy: (Shit, she's home!) Umm, hi! Is this ---?
Girl: Speaking.
Boy: My name is ---. I don't know if you know who I am- (God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I'll sound like a complete idiot.) Hell, I already sound like a complete idiot. I don't even know why I'm doing this!)

Girl: Oh, you live in Manchester, right?
Boy: Yeah. (Ok, she was told about me, that's a relief. I wonder what she was told - He's a resident, tall, and fair, and he graduated from Ivy League school!" God, she probably hates me already!)

Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number. (I can't believe he actually called!)
Boy: So, how are you?(Oh yeah, that's real original, but what the hell else I am supposed to say- Umm, hi, I don't know you, but do you want to be my wife?)

Girl: I'm fine. And you? (Ok, this is off to a great start...)
Boy: I'm good. (Ok, think, think!) So, I heard you're an investment banker? (Oh, that's a real winner. Now I can be a bad conversationalist and an idiot!)
Girl: Yes.
Boy: (Ok, she is not helping me at all!) Where do you work?

Girl: Merrill Lynch.
Boy: Hey, that's a great firm! (I sound like a complete moron. I should just hang up except my mother would somehow find out and kill me!)
Girl: Yeah, it's a nice place to work. (God, this guy sounds like a complete loser)
Boy: So... (Stall ,stall!)

Girl: So you're doing your residency in cardiology? (Like my mom didn't tell me that 500 times already!)
Boy: (Ok, I can handle this...) Yeah, I'm in my second year.(Alright, now say something else, but what do I say? Do you drink ? So, what you like to do in your free time?
Girl: (Umm... get wasted...) Oh, you know, hang out with my friends, go to movies.

Boy: Where do you like to hang out in London?
Girl: (Shit, what am I supposed to say? This guy could be some religious freak! I can't say bars - I'll say clubs, you can go to clubs and not drink...) Oh, sometimes we go to the movies, or there's a couple clubs that are good... (That was good, I made it sound like I like clubs, but I'm not really into them...)

Boy: (Ok, she goes to clubs, that's a good sign. If she was really religious she wouldn't do that.) Yeah? I like to dance also.
Girl: (He likes to dance- that's a good sign. He can't be that stiff!) So where do you hang out in Manchester?
Boy: (Should I say it- alright, I'll say it, what the hell!) Umm, the same, bars, clubs, stuff like that.
Girl: (He said bars! So he probably drinks. Good sign. I should explore this further...)Are there any good bars in Manchester?

Boy: Yeah, there are some nice ones, I mean, I'm not a huge drinker, but I like having a good time. (Ok, that gives the impression of someone who enjoys drinking but is not an alcoholic - pretty good, if I do say so myself!)
Girl: (That sounds really positive. This guy sounds kind of cool. But if he's so cool why is he calling me? Shouldn't he have a girlfriend? Or not need to call random girls his mother tells him about? God, what if he's completely ugly? Or has never been kissed?) Yeah, me too. Although I hope my parents never find out.

Boy: Yeah. I know exactly what you mean
Girl: (Ok, so he didn't freak out at the living a double life reference- another good sign. I just wish I knew what he looked like...) So...
Boy: (Or she could be really fat with a huge mustache. Well, there's only one way to find out!)So, I know this sounds a little crazy, but I'm visiting some friends in London next weekend and I wonder if you'd want to get together for coffee sometime.
Girl: (Coffee. That's totally safe. If he's totally nasty I can have a quick espresso and run like hell!) Yeah, that sounds great.

Boy: (Alright that went pretty well. Coffee's pretty harmless. And who knows, maybe she'll be cool. Now I have to get the hell out of this conversation...) So I have your e-mail, should I just e-mail you soon and we can figure it out?
Girl: (E-mail is sooo much better than the phone. Thank God for e-mail!) Yeah, just e-mail, I check it all the time at work, so- (God, this is getting painful)
Boy: Alright, I'll e-mail you soon. (Meaning in two days cause I don't want to look too desperate, but at the same time I don't want to look like I'm trying not to look too desperate...)

Girl: Cool. Well, I'm glad you called. (I think...)
Boy: Me too. Well, I'll see you soon. (Please be hot, please be hot!)
Girl: Alright. Bye. (I can't believe he called! Too late to back out now. Besides, maybe he's cool. He didn't sound so bad on the phone.
Boy: Bye. (I did it! ..)

Soaring in the heavens.. .

The sky was over-cast and except for a solitary eagle mounting high in the air, there was silence all around them...
"What desolate creatures they seem to be... you rarely find them in a flock....", she said looking up at the eagle.
He looked at her for a minute before looking up at the sky.
"Which is probably why they soar great heights...' he replied, "You reach great heights when you can be sure that there are hardly anybody around to pull you down"
She looked at him, " True... but you can't deny the fact that people matter"
"Not unless they share a common goal or purpose in life as you do and can be used tactfully to your advantage... the rest of them... don't even bother... they are a mere a waste of time... for they simply pull you down... and tear you apart!", he spoke in a manner that reflected a calm quietude.
His words rang through her head.
"Everything around you... everything... rests on the principle of "all for oneself'... Involve people - the right people - but get as less as emotionally involved as you can with them... and you will reach that far", he said, pointing his long well-shaped finger at the eagle which now seemed to disappear into the horizon.
A single raindrop settled itself on her eye-lash. It had begun to drizzle.
Pause.

"Yeah" she finally said "But I don't want to find myself THAT isolated either"
He smiled, his eyes fixated upon the horizon. "You already are, in case you didn't know... we all are... the only difference being, WE choose to wile away our time brooding over our state of isolation and loneliness, while the eagle probably uses it's state of isolation to realise it's strengths... and soar to great heights... "